A definition of equality

The occasional late-night, several-hour discussions I have with my father almost always spawn a desire in me to further express my opinion about what we talk about to some other outside person. Usually a comment or two about the subject matter makes it to the ears of one of my unsuspecting loved ones, sometimes inspiring another, different discussion, and sometimes just a nod or grunt of affirmation to silence me. And while I often intend to funnel my ideas into writing— in a journal, on my blog, or what have you—the moment passes and it never really materializes. But this time, I felt compelled to record my thoughts, to express my opinions on a certain subject our discussion touched on.

Now, being the people-pleaser that I am (to some extent), I don't usually forcefully express my political (or I guess, sociopolitical) opinions to the world. I think more so, it's the result of my lack of confidence in my personal knowledge, especially when it comes to politics. But concerning this subject, and that is, homosexuality and specifically, gay marriage, I felt like laying it out.

Now I won't incriminate my father, or set him up as the bad guy here. He said nothing insulting or demeaning. But I was interested in where the reasoning for his opinions lay, and from what I could tell, it was pretty standard for how a lot of people look at this situation.

With any group, whether it be political, social, religious, etc. there are inevitably those that are on one side of the spectrum, and are more "radical" in their beliefs than those on the other side or in the middle. You see where I'm going here, it's a basic pattern. But with this comes the fact that those "radical" people are invariably more visible to those outside the group, they're the ones people tend to notice. And I guess in this case, it'd be the flag-toting, in-your-face gays, who not everyone feels comfortable with. I don't have a problem with 'em, but to each their own. Again, it's a pattern that happens with lots of different groups and ideas.

So I think a lot of people are ready to jump to conclusions, or form their opinions on what they perceive most readily. Based on people they feel push it on them, or are outspoken about it for the shock-and-awe factor, or are pursuing some personal vendetta. This may be true for some few people, but not necessarily the whole.

So something that came up struck me, that if same-sex marriage was legalized, that might somehow mean that people would have to accept it as being "normal" or "the same as" hetero marriage. And what follows I think sums up my true feelings on this matter.

Now this is a generalization, so I know there are exceptions, but I think that being recognized by others as "normal" is not the issue here, and not necessarily what the aim of the gay community is. I see it as not a recognition of normality or sameness, but recognition that "THIS" isn't less than "THAT". That in no way is heterosexual marriage above, better, or more-right than homosexual marriage. I think more than anything, this is how a lot of gay men and women feel about the issue. It's not about offending anyone deliberately, or pushing their lifestyle on others, it's simply about being happy, and being equals with everyone else.

Equality under the law isn't asking whether it's right or wrong, or normal, or socially-approved or whatever. It's about no one group or person assuming they are entitled to more rights than another.

My Hero

"You're a saint." That phrase we often utter to some dear person who comes to our rescue in an instant of need. A high praise, and usually well-deserved. But only a choice few times do you meet someone who embodies this phrase in the most literal way. A truly selfless, angel-among-us, awe-inspiring, I'm-not-worthy, type of person, one who changes you and how you will forever look at and feel about the world. A person like Mrs. Kelly Pack Beck.

I guess my acquaintance with Kelly starts with when I met her daughter, Ashley. The seemingly quiet, new girl from California, who I shared 2 classes with, who quickly became the loud, inappropriate, fellow procrastinator, best-friend I shared 2 classes with. And when I finally met her family, I fully understood how Ashley was a combination of the very best parts of Kelly, and her dad, Tracy, and the worst parts of herself (This is me placing blame on Ashley, instead of either of her incredible parents. You know I love you Ash).

Our first, brief, meeting left me in awe of the two barely-mortal people who she called Mom and Dad. Both impossibly kind and witty, I worshipped them instantly. I was especially awed by the incredible Mrs. Beck, who anyone would love, even against their will. Simply being near her I was enveloped by her loving calm, immediately putting me at ease. Even in our short exchange, we spoke as long-lost friends, with no hesitation or awkwardness. She was clever, and hilarious, and we hit it off immediately. Later I was still amazed at how she could impart instant fellowship, and that she already effortlessly embraced me, after we'd only just met.

From then on I would utter the phrase "I love your parents," countless times to Ashley, much to her annoyance, probably. And my awe only continued when I accompanied the family to a performance of Blithe Spirit in which Kelly played Ruth. Alas, she's was an incredible actress as well, and humbly grateful for my post-show praise.

For me, the true showing of Kelly's unbelievable character and strength came in their family's recent battle with cancer. Only experiencing from the outside looking in, I couldn't tell you how much it truly impacted their family. But from the small glimpses I got, was my admiration and love for Kelly solidified in my heart. Through the emotional, six-month trial, she had the strength to appear almost unfazed by anything. Caring for Tracy, the kids (who can be quite a handful *wink, wink*), and absolutely any other person who showed a hint of needing help, she busied herself with the welfare of others before ever considering herself.

And this is why Kelly Beck is one of my true, in-the-flesh, heroes. Because if she's known you for 10 minutes, or 10 years, you can be sure that she will do everything she can to put you at ease, make you laugh, and help you out in your time of need. This was best expressed by one Marcel Walker, a brilliant photographer and friend of the family:

"If I was stranded in the middle of the Sahara and called for rescue, my husband would laugh before saying anything...some friends would want to know what I was doing in the middle of the world's biggest wasteland and my family would ask how I got there in the first place. Kelly response would probably be, "So do you want to do this by cargo or caravan?" She's the kind of friend who will always have your back not matter where you're leaning or how far you might fall."

I am continually amazed and grateful that I have the opportunity to know Kelly Pack Beck, and I look forward to being awed in the future. I love you Kelly!