Sunday, May 24, 2009


"The first 3 people to leave a comment on this post will receive a handmade gift from me during this year. When and what will be a surprise. There's a small catch though...Post this same thing on your own blog and then come back and leave a comment telling me you're in. Remember, only the first 3 comments receive the gift!"

Monday, December 1, 2008


Energy Solutions Arena


Stressed about getting there later than 7:30 because it takes 45 minutes to leave Rice-Eccles Stadium, get to Matt's car, and drive to Energy Solutions Arena.

Felt relieved that there was a long opening act.

Concluded that I've never anticipated anything so much in my life.

Came in halfway through the opening act. Seeing an artist mix live is actually pretty cool. Especially if it accompanies cool/odd animation. Makes me want to see BT with David.
(His name is
Jon Hopkins)

Discovered that lower bowl seats are more comfortable than upper bowl seats.

Agonized over the fact that I forgot my camera. OH WAIT, no, I didn't forget it. I made a conscious decision not to bring it. Yes, I had it with me, yes, I took it from my house, but I DECIDED to leave it in the car. Something I may regret for the rest of my life. Also, my phone died. So, no phone camera. No phone camera to take a picture when he, they, were two sections over, and 10 rows up. No phone to text my dad and figure out any possible way to get it from him-to me-before the band came out.

Thanked Nan for coming with me, for loving Coldplay, for making it possible.

Was awed senseless by the
first sights and sounds. 

Wished Paige was there to experience it with me.

Confirmed what I already new, that
Chris Martin is incredible, genuine, funny, and I love him.

Felt pure, beautiful, heart-opening, mind-releasing joy, and fought back tears through the first 6 songs. (In My Place, Speed of Sound, Cemeteries of London/Chinese Sleep Chant, 42)

Reaffirmed that I still love-and misunderstand the widespread dislike for/disappointment with-X&Y.

Openly wept through
Fix You.

Found more meaning in the beautiful lyrics of those first few songs than I ever thought possible.

Realized that nothing I can recall has brought me such piercing happiness. This amazes, and frightens me.

Fell newly in love with
Strawberry Swing. Thought of Chad and how much he'd love hearing it like this.

Loved the
combination of God Put A Smile Upon Your Face and Talk into an electronic-ish masterpiece.

Laughed when Chris mentioned Joe the Plumber. "This isn't the best Coldplay song ever, but it's not the worst Coldplay song ever. It's not the best Joe the Plumber song ever, but it's not the worst Joe the Plumber song ever. Dunno what the fuck I'm talking about." Then played an incredible solo acoustic version of
The Hardest Part. (SLC clip)

Disregarded the future health of my vocal chords to sing out
Viva La Vida, and then Lost! from the bottom of my soul.

Studied the features of Chris, Will, Jonny and Guy
in the crowd from 60 feet away.  And yes, he did say the place was "crawling with super-babes".

Decided that
The Scientist is better with Chris and his harmonica.

Heard Will, the drummer, play the steel guitar and sing Death Will Never Conquer-still from 60 feet away.

Took a deep breath as the band made their way back to the stage for the first encore, the crowd danced with thousands of glowing cell phones, and a remix of Viva La Vida played.

Remembered how much I love A Rush of Blood To the Head-my gateway into Coldplay-and

Captured two fluorescent tissue-paper butterflies from
Lovers in Japan.

Was taken aback by Chris saying "Thanks for coming" before
Death and All His Friends, when I didn't expect it, and was crushed. 

Reflected on the shortest 2 hours of my life.

Wondered if the people leaving had ever heard of an encore.

Wondered if the band would play my favorite new song, Yes, as the second encore.

Drank in
Yellow, and the last moments of the greatest experience of my entire, yes, entire life.

Relished personal silence, and the afterglow, even though they played every song from Viva la Vida or Death and All His Friends except for my favorite, Yes.

Wished for silence, Paige's company, and the return of Coldplay to Salt Lake City, while seriously considering/planning a sudden vacation to their next tour stop.

Realized that as much as I thought I adored and appreciated Coldplay before, I never did, or could have, until now.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008


I've been doing a lot of thinking this evening, as polling results have come in from across the country regarding a myriad of issues and candidates. I am overjoyed at the prospect of a major change in the White House, and national politics as we know it. I am honored to have been a part of this historic election, and look forward to supporting new President-elect Barack Obama.

However, I am deeply saddened by the support and passing of Proposition 8 in California, Proposition 102 in Arizona, and Amendment 2 in Florida. It is a sad day in the fight for marriage equality. But it is not the end, by any means. I pledge my unwavering support in securing equal marriage rights for all Americans, for those whom I love, and those you do too. I cannot believe in a God, or give my full support to a society that wishes to prohibit ANYONE from finding their happiness with WHOMEVER they choose. Though the fight for equal rights has been stalled along the way, I truly believe that it CAN and WILL happen-- but only if we continue the fight to make it so.

Friday, August 22, 2008

A definition of equality

The occasional late-night, several-hour discussions I have with my father almost always spawn a desire in me to further express my opinion about what we talk about to some other outside person. Usually a comment or two about the subject matter makes it to the ears of one of my unsuspecting loved ones, sometimes inspiring another, different discussion, and sometimes just a nod or grunt of affirmation to silence me. And while I often intend to funnel my ideas into writing— in a journal, on my blog, or what have you—the moment passes and it never really materializes. But this time, I felt compelled to record my thoughts, to express my opinions on a certain subject our discussion touched on.

Now, being the people-pleaser that I am (to some extent), I don't usually forcefully express my political (or I guess, sociopolitical) opinions to the world. I think more so, it's the result of my lack of confidence in my personal knowledge, especially when it comes to politics. But concerning this subject, and that is, homosexuality and specifically, gay marriage, I felt like laying it out.

Now I won't incriminate my father, or set him up as the bad guy here. He said nothing insulting or demeaning. But I was interested in where the reasoning for his opinions lay, and from what I could tell, it was pretty standard for how a lot of people look at this situation.

With any group, whether it be political, social, religious, etc. there are inevitably those that are on one side of the spectrum, and are more "radical" in their beliefs than those on the other side or in the middle. You see where I'm going here, it's a basic pattern. But with this comes the fact that those "radical" people are invariably more visible to those outside the group, they're the ones people tend to notice. And I guess in this case, it'd be the flag-toting, in-your-face gays, who not everyone feels comfortable with. I don't have a problem with 'em, but to each their own. Again, it's a pattern that happens with lots of different groups and ideas.

So I think a lot of people are ready to jump to conclusions, or form their opinions on what they perceive most readily. Based on people they feel push it on them, or are outspoken about it for the shock-and-awe factor, or are pursuing some personal vendetta. This may be true for some few people, but not necessarily the whole.

So something that came up struck me, that if same-sex marriage was legalized, that might somehow mean that people would have to accept it as being "normal" or "the same as" hetero marriage. And what follows I think sums up my true feelings on this matter.

Now this is a generalization, so I know there are exceptions, but I think that being recognized by others as "normal" is not the issue here, and not necessarily what the aim of the gay community is. I see it as not a recognition of normality or sameness, but recognition that "THIS" isn't less than "THAT". That in no way is heterosexual marriage above, better, or more-right than homosexual marriage. I think more than anything, this is how a lot of gay men and women feel about the issue. It's not about offending anyone deliberately, or pushing their lifestyle on others, it's simply about being happy, and being equals with everyone else.

Equality under the law isn't asking whether it's right or wrong, or normal, or socially-approved or whatever. It's about no one group or person assuming they are entitled to more rights than another.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

My Hero

"You're a saint." That phrase we often utter to some dear person who comes to our rescue in an instant of need. A high praise, and usually well-deserved. But only a choice few times do you meet someone who embodies this phrase in the most literal way. A truly selfless, angel-among-us, awe-inspiring, I'm-not-worthy, type of person, one who changes you and how you will forever look at and feel about the world. A person like Mrs. Kelly Pack Beck.

I guess my acquaintance with Kelly starts with when I met her daughter, Ashley. The seemingly quiet, new girl from California, who I shared 2 classes with, who quickly became the loud, inappropriate, fellow procrastinator, best-friend I shared 2 classes with. And when I finally met her family, I fully understood how Ashley was a combination of the very best parts of Kelly, and her dad, Tracy, and the worst parts of herself (This is me placing blame on Ashley, instead of either of her incredible parents. You know I love you Ash).

Our first, brief, meeting left me in awe of the two barely-mortal people who she called Mom and Dad. Both impossibly kind and witty, I worshipped them instantly. I was especially awed by the incredible Mrs. Beck, who anyone would love, even against their will. Simply being near her I was enveloped by her loving calm, immediately putting me at ease. Even in our short exchange, we spoke as long-lost friends, with no hesitation or awkwardness. She was clever, and hilarious, and we hit it off immediately. Later I was still amazed at how she could impart instant fellowship, and that she already effortlessly embraced me, after we'd only just met.

From then on I would utter the phrase "I love your parents," countless times to Ashley, much to her annoyance, probably. And my awe only continued when I accompanied the family to a performance of Blithe Spirit in which Kelly played Ruth. Alas, she's was an incredible actress as well, and humbly grateful for my post-show praise.

For me, the true showing of Kelly's unbelievable character and strength came in their family's recent battle with cancer. Only experiencing from the outside looking in, I couldn't tell you how much it truly impacted their family. But from the small glimpses I got, was my admiration and love for Kelly solidified in my heart. Through the emotional, six-month trial, she had the strength to appear almost unfazed by anything. Caring for Tracy, the kids (who can be quite a handful *wink, wink*), and absolutely any other person who showed a hint of needing help, she busied herself with the welfare of others before ever considering herself.

And this is why Kelly Beck is one of my true, in-the-flesh, heroes. Because if she's known you for 10 minutes, or 10 years, you can be sure that she will do everything she can to put you at ease, make you laugh, and help you out in your time of need. This was best expressed by one Marcel Walker, a brilliant photographer and friend of the family:

"If I was stranded in the middle of the Sahara and called for rescue, my husband would laugh before saying anything...some friends would want to know what I was doing in the middle of the world's biggest wasteland and my family would ask how I got there in the first place. Kelly response would probably be, "So do you want to do this by cargo or caravan?" She's the kind of friend who will always have your back not matter where you're leaning or how far you might fall."

I am continually amazed and grateful that I have the opportunity to know Kelly Pack Beck, and I look forward to being awed in the future. I love you Kelly!

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Finding myself in the discovery of others...

This is an effort to revive the stagnant pool of useless lists that is my blog.

It's interesting to me how much one's blog can say about them, even when they don't want it to. By simply observing the frequency of the posts, or the basic format of what is shared, you get a glimpse into someone's personality, their thoughts. In my own blog I see my self-conscious habit of deflecting attention. I don't share a lot about myself, I suppose, because I don't value my own opinon. Or at least, how I express it in written word. So alas, we see a lot of lists, gateways to the ideas, the minds of others, offering only a small glimpse into mine.

Quite opposite, however, is the blog of one of my own, personal, treasured minds and friends, who some of you may know. Someone who, instead of being a window to the ideas of others, , opens a door into herself, into her heart for me, and all those who enjoy her posts. When I read, I feel as if I've stolen a glimpse into her secret thoughts, into her life. A talent that I envy, to be honest, but I very much appreciate the oppourtunity to enjoy it.

As evidenced, writing about myself is not one of my strengths, and not something I'm always comfortable doing. But I do find joy in singing the praises of others, and so much of who I am, I feel, is determined by those who I surround myself with. So, through my awe of others, I'd like to try to show you...myself.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Chain, chain, chain...

Ok, so haven't posted in a while, blah blah. And this one isn't so great. But, I thought these videos, born of a YouTube chain, were noteworthy. This is a series of advertisements for Cadbury Creme Eggs featuring very clever, masochistic, suicidal eggs. The first is a medley, the rest are individual postings. If you do have the time, enjoy!

Chocolate Creme Suicide
Foot Pump
Picture Frame
Newton's Cradle
Piano wire
Tape Measure
and the finale... ?

Oh, and on a related note, here's the vid that started this chain. It's an entry from Cadbury's "Unleash the Goo" competition. It's an elaborate Rube Goldberg machine that smashes a Cadbury Creme Egg: Creme That Egg!

A more worthwhile and possibly lengthy post to come later.