A definition of equality

The occasional late-night, several-hour discussions I have with my father almost always spawn a desire in me to further express my opinion about what we talk about to some other outside person. Usually a comment or two about the subject matter makes it to the ears of one of my unsuspecting loved ones, sometimes inspiring another, different discussion, and sometimes just a nod or grunt of affirmation to silence me. And while I often intend to funnel my ideas into writing— in a journal, on my blog, or what have you—the moment passes and it never really materializes. But this time, I felt compelled to record my thoughts, to express my opinions on a certain subject our discussion touched on.

Now, being the people-pleaser that I am (to some extent), I don't usually forcefully express my political (or I guess, sociopolitical) opinions to the world. I think more so, it's the result of my lack of confidence in my personal knowledge, especially when it comes to politics. But concerning this subject, and that is, homosexuality and specifically, gay marriage, I felt like laying it out.

Now I won't incriminate my father, or set him up as the bad guy here. He said nothing insulting or demeaning. But I was interested in where the reasoning for his opinions lay, and from what I could tell, it was pretty standard for how a lot of people look at this situation.

With any group, whether it be political, social, religious, etc. there are inevitably those that are on one side of the spectrum, and are more "radical" in their beliefs than those on the other side or in the middle. You see where I'm going here, it's a basic pattern. But with this comes the fact that those "radical" people are invariably more visible to those outside the group, they're the ones people tend to notice. And I guess in this case, it'd be the flag-toting, in-your-face gays, who not everyone feels comfortable with. I don't have a problem with 'em, but to each their own. Again, it's a pattern that happens with lots of different groups and ideas.

So I think a lot of people are ready to jump to conclusions, or form their opinions on what they perceive most readily. Based on people they feel push it on them, or are outspoken about it for the shock-and-awe factor, or are pursuing some personal vendetta. This may be true for some few people, but not necessarily the whole.

So something that came up struck me, that if same-sex marriage was legalized, that might somehow mean that people would have to accept it as being "normal" or "the same as" hetero marriage. And what follows I think sums up my true feelings on this matter.

Now this is a generalization, so I know there are exceptions, but I think that being recognized by others as "normal" is not the issue here, and not necessarily what the aim of the gay community is. I see it as not a recognition of normality or sameness, but recognition that "THIS" isn't less than "THAT". That in no way is heterosexual marriage above, better, or more-right than homosexual marriage. I think more than anything, this is how a lot of gay men and women feel about the issue. It's not about offending anyone deliberately, or pushing their lifestyle on others, it's simply about being happy, and being equals with everyone else.

Equality under the law isn't asking whether it's right or wrong, or normal, or socially-approved or whatever. It's about no one group or person assuming they are entitled to more rights than another.